The Sources of Morality

“Well what would you do?” I looked at my brother and sighed, turning back to the bright T.V in our foyer “I guess I can’t answer since I’m not actually in that situation” I told him, pulling our plush blanket closer. We watched in anticipation pondering, placing ourselves in a situation that I prayed neither of us would ever have to experience. “I volunteer- I volunteer as tribute” shouts the TV as me and Jaden burst out laughing, in a sarcastic mock but also as relief, knowing that we are both safe, that we don’t have to choose between murdering other people or saving our own lives as Katniss Everdeen must in Suzanne Collins’ The Hunger Games. Many different movies and media show protagonists facing moral dilemmas. For most, the only time we will consider what we will do in those dilemas is when we are watching tv or reading a book. But have you ever wondered why it is so hard to decide? Where do our morals come from and why do all of our answers differ?

Consider this, you and your friend are at the mall and you see two kids giggling and stealing a t-shirt. Would you tell the employees? Would you ignore it and shrug it off as kids being kids? Let’s say you decided that you should tell the employee because for you it's “the right thing to do.” You return to your friend who rolls their eyes and says annoyed, “Why would you do that? It’s not like they’re hurting anyone.” Would you then feel remorseful for getting those kids in trouble or feel content because now you don’t have to carry the guilt of letting them shoplift?

So what would happen when you are forced to choose between the lesser of two evils? Can you still make a morally correct choice even though you’d feel remorse for both of them? In Zora Neale Hurston’s novel Their Eyes Were Watching God, the main character Janie is forced to choose between killing her lover, who is trying to harm her because he is infected with rabies, and losing her own life. She saves herself by shooting him in the chest and then holds him as he dies. Later on in the novel she allows herself to let go of her guilt and remorse by understanding that he was suffering, and she did the morally correct choice by putting him out of his misery. Throughout Janie's childhood she was taught that killing is wrong no matter what. Skitka’s theory is visible in this situation, although Janie had accepted that what she had done was okay, she continued to feel embarrassed, and anxious about her choice because of what others thought about it. Our morals differ because no one lives the same life, they are similar because of our shared judgment and what we were taught to feel bad about.

There is a point in our lives where we reach moral maturity. At this stage, the justification for our moral choices and behaviors is literally just “because I’m supposed to.” On Askdrsears in “5 Stages of Moral Growth of Children” it is explained as the following:

“From infancy to adulthood, the developing moral person progresses from self (“It’s right because it feels right to me”) to others (“It’s right because it’s what we do in our family”) to abstract moral reasoning (“It’s right because it is right”).”(Sears et al.).

The stage where family values matter most is complicated. Some people have learned that friendship, family and being kind are the most important traits to have. Others have learned to prioritize themselves, that asking others for help is selfish and that they’ll be better off being alone. Neither set of traits is correct or wrong, good or bad, it all depends on perspective.

One of the technicalities that can change someone’s perspective of family values is socioeconomic status. The theory is that having more money can mean that you’re able to pay for things that you’d otherwise rely on the people who you’ve formed previous meaningful relationships for. Because of that, there’s less incentive to make/keep relationships and can mean you don’t have to worry about being nice since you don’t need others to think you’re a good person. Chelsea Fagan explains this phenomenon well in “Why Rich People Become A**holes” on The Financial Diet. “They’re not going to worry as much about how they are perceived by others or how they make others feel, they frankly don’t need them,” she elaborates, these connections are just not needed for those individuals.